1. We've already attempted to "americanize" futbol and came away with american football...a pansy sport where oversized men run around, covered in pads, and play for 15 seconds out of every minute. Must we go any further?

2. Doing away with offsides, and therefore, more than likely, increasing the number of goals scored, would diminish the meaningfulness of, and pride taken in, a goal.

3. PKs are luck. Just because 5 players can put the ball in the back of the net when only facing a keeper doesn't mean that their team is most deserving of the win. If so, then why don't we eliminate defense as a whole and simply see who can make the most shots from 12 yards away? Obviously, there is a need for a tiebreaker in games that determine knockout or region standings, but not in games that don't count towards post-season play.


Want to hear about how I broke my pencil? Nevermind, its pointless.