SC Soccer Forums SCSoccer.com Forums Club Soccer & ODP Bridge U-17

Big Daddy: As your child grows older, and as your club grows to offer even more services, you may find that you have to let your child out of your sight every once and a while. If you talk to parents at clubs that tend to field teams capable of playing for national championships, you'll find that the amount of travel necessitates that parents don't always accompany their children everywhere.

My guess is that you'll hold the authority figures and/or chaperons and/or whatever responsible to some degree. However, if you don't, you don't -- but from working with several youth organizations, I can tell you that your attitude in that case is far from universal.

It is a parent's responsibility to know what their son or daughter is up to, whether they are there or not. I would not send my son or daughter somewhere unaccompanied where I didn't know how they would be supervised. I am still responsible for ensuring certain levels of behavior and supervision are present for my kids.

I have sent my kids away with others.......my daughter has gone to USA Cup in Mn with her team twice. And as a team they did things like go to Mall of America......if she shoplifted while there, it is a reflection on me, not her temporary club supervision...who cannot watch every kid for every second.

Now, if the adult supervision allowed individual kids or groups of kids to independently catch a cab and go clubbing or shopping on theri own......without supervision or my knowing it.....yeah, THAT is a reflection on the team or the Club.

Parents who send their kids away on trips......need to know how their kid will be supervised, and by whom. Simply shunting them off without knowing the answers......and then blaming someone else when a problem comes up is pretty lame, in my estimation.

I agree with much of what is being said here, concerning the reflection of the parents. However, you have to consider the perspectives. If a team representing a club travels to another area and players do things to draw negative attention to themselves, then to the club/team, it's clearly a reflection of the parents. However, to the community where this team is visiting, they see it as a reflection of the team/club in their area.

For example, many tournaments require the use of hotel services now. If a team has issues at a hotel, then the hotel informs the lodging group, who informs the tournament group, who then sees it as a team/club issue.

Regardless of how supervised, off the field actions of players when traveling, can have an impact on the reputation of the club.

I am wondering how much poor behavior, on and off the field, a club is supposed to put up with. Word on the street is this particular team has had poor behavioral issues for a very long time. Seems to me, if this is truly the case, when is enough, ENOUGH?

While I agree with both Big Daddy and Chico, I also think that parent's aren't the only "teachers" of my children, especially when it comes to matters of character formation. I consider coaches, school teachers, clergy, etc. to be examples of character. In my humble opinion, a good coach is one who teaches life lessons on the field as well as off the field.

Coaches, chaperones, etc should not have to tolerate poorly behaved players, especially when they are held responsible for the players well being in absence of the parents. What's usually the first questioned asked when something happens on a trip..."Who was there? Where was the adult in charge? Who was watching them?" Who's usually the first to be blamed? Usually, the adult who was supposed to be supervising because in today's society, kids aren't typically held responsible for their actions by parents, coaches, schools, or sports organizations. I can think of a few pro sports figures who are prime examples of this...yet we pay them millions of $$...go figure.

Comet, you are right. Two different points.....I argue on who is responsible (parent), while you raise the valid point of the perspective of the outside party, who doesn't care who is responsible.......only that it happened. And this kid from X club in SC did it.......

Big Daddy: I find myself to be in the unenviable position of defending something that I don't personally believe in one of my roles. As a parent, I tend to agree with you regarding my personal belief system with regard to rearing my children.

However, having served in youth organizations over the years, I hold those youth organizations responsible for the actions of children under its care. Moreover, I can tell you that the health of such organizations is massively dependent upon my having that belief system -- our society today is rife with examples of parents who blame authority and supervisory figures first and their children second.

Thus, it seems to come down to one of perspective. As a parent, I care about the best possible outcome for my child and that is the basis of my belief system. As a member of a youth organization, I care about the best possible outcome for the organization [i.e., the aggregate of all youth, present and future, that are served], and that is the basis of my belief system.

Finally, pragmatically, as a parent I can impact my children and as a member of an organization I can impact my organization. However, I have had over the years much less success in impacting how other parents rear their children.

This might just be an untruthful rumor that I have heard, but is there any truth to 2 players off of the CUFC U17 Elite team getting arrested this past weekend? And if so, should they be allowed to play in their teams state games this coming weekend?

I believe it's a club issue. If there is a club policy that dictates actions, then the policy should be followed. If there is no club policy, then it's an issue between the authorities and the players/parents.

We watch spoiled atheles get passed from team to team every football season...Why? Because they sell tickets and are playmakers and teams think they will help them win..So why would we not look the other way when soccer players misbehave over a weekend outing? Because they want to win

CHT... I will take your response as being a sarcastic commentary on the situation.

I would expect "my kids" to behave normally. There is no place in normal society for accepting this behavior in children. The behavior of professional athletes cannot be equated to youths.

I expect certain things from our youth players that I can control. I will not be a supporter of teams that cater to profesional babies. For the former I have big impact, for the latter my impact is limited.

Also to the point of who it impacts, if you use the professional model, you usually say
1- the athlete is an idiot for throwing away the opportunity
2- The coach is an idiot for catering to the athlete
3- The team ownership are idiots for accepting the situation
4- The city the team plays in are ridiculous for accepting their team's decision (agreed as being a small point).

So to Chico's point....it has more impact on the team/club than some may think.