I saved probably the most important for (I think) last. Nothing mentioned here is personal. Reasonable people can disagree on Messi, Ronaldo, Debreuner, Kane, etc. etc., they can disagree on teenagers and style of play too. But, these are things I wish I knew as well "then" as I do "now". Take together with the other two threads, and what your kid wants to get out of it:
If you have a chance, talk to parent's who had older kids who can offer perspective on the clubs/coaches available to you.
All clubs talk about "player development", "loyalty", and "quality of play". DO they walk the walk?
Look at the clubs older top teams. If half the players on those older top teams are in their first or second year with the club, then that is an admission that they don't believe in their own development. Why join a club like that at a younger age? They either don't develop their own players, or get "tired" of them (see "closed book" below), preferring to bring in the hot "new" players. You can always transfer into this type of club later if you want to.
If 90+% of the players on those teams have been in the club for a while, the club has some loyalty. Is their some turnover on the roster? If not, upward movement might be a problem, or they might be very stacked. Not a bad thing. Does the second team receive adequate coaching and attention? Support for recruiting?
Remember, the coach is watching all the kids. You are (mostly) watching 1. They won't see everything you do, and won't see it the same way. It's natural, not personal.
If your kid isn't happy, don't be afraid to talk to the coach. Or better yet, teach your kid to do it so they can grow in communication/relationship. Not, "Why don't you play me, I'm better than so and so." More, "what do you see as holding me back"? Where do you picture me moving forward? Etc. It might not help, but if you never open the dialogue you lose the right to be upset. My personal experience, it does help more often then not. If the coach refuses to discuss it, or punishes the player for it, then you need to find a new team/coach if possible. That type of coach should not be coaching youth players.
Beware a coach who tells a player "You are up against this other player." That shows an A vs. B mentality, when maybe A and B are both two of the better players, regardless of position. Besides keeper, where there is only one position, there's multiple spots out there. But the a/b mentality creates an adversarial relationship within the team, placing team mate against team mate where only one can "win". And once one overtakes the other, the other suffers automatically? Once a coach with this mentality makes a decision, they are also much less likely to go back on it. A better coach will never think this binary way about field players. They will find a way to use and get the most out of both players.
Some clubs/coaches have stylistic preference. Do they want center backs up in the high press or sitting back keeping everything in front of them? Do they want a striker who lives next to the center back waiting and waiting for one or two chances to pounce, or do they want more of a "false 9" who roams into space to be an option and get more involved with the build up? Their style might not fit your players strength. At the least the player needs to understand what is wanted if it isn't communicated directly.
Find a club that spends as much, or more time, teaching off ball movement as on ball skill. Beware the club that almost exclusively instructs the player with the ball during scrimmages/games. Yes, a player should "find feet". But were there any feet open to find? What is a player to do when the teammates don't move to get open? Or they run past a player facing backwards leaving them no drop? Clubs too focused on the player with the ball and not those failing to get open create a no win situation. Those that can dribble well will learn to over dribble to buy some time (better than a "bad pass"). And it might work when playing lesser teams. This is the tell tale sign if you see the team play enough. You see players on these clubs who make runs to scoring position, but don't move to get open well otherwise. Players who "force" their way through lesser defenders, but literally disappear against good teams, barely getting on the ball. Meanwhile, the players who play the right way regardless of opponent will bear the burden against the tough teams and share the glory against the lesser teams. If the whole team plays this way, they won't look much different no matter who they are playing against. If the whole team doesn't play this way, the players who get open will be the ones left "holding the bag" when their team mates don't, and might even get "punished" for it.
Beware the coach/club who has "closed the book" on a player. It isn't personal, but maybe they've built up enough history that influences their view of the player. They have already formed an overall view/expectation, and will look for/see things that support it. The glass becomes seen for how empty it is. And no teenager's glass is overflowing, so there will always be some flaw to point to, real or perceived. How do you know? If you find out what the supposed issue is (see above about communication), then track it/film it, etc. Does it hold true? If not, the player will feel confusion and no path forward without further instruction. How does the coach react once brought up? Do they even listen? Do they shift the goal posts ("well yeah, but what about...")? Do even the good performances get used to drag the player. Make a great play leading to a goal in the second half? "Where has that been all day?" If you find yourself in this position, find a new team. Probably a new club, because coaches within a given club tend to get into "group think".
Beware the influence of High School coaches in club player selection. They know their players better than others, which can work for or against a player. What if a club's top teams seems to have over-representation of certain school's players? That could be a result of those players receiving good coaching. But if a school has trouble beating other schools which have players on average one or two levels below them in club ball?, then probably that schools players benefit from their coach's influence on the club.
Be aware of coaches who coach their own kids age groups or are part of the team selection of their own kids age groups. Some clubs allow it, some don't. It is a tough subject, because parents who coach should be able to see their kids play. If they are different teams, this becomes difficult and increases their family travel costs. Personally, I am not against it. But, some parent's will be extra hard on their own kids. Others the opposite. I've seen one coach tell a team after a game that "(his kid) is the superstar of this team". Same coach who always had ways to talk down other kids accomplishments and point out their flaws, but quiet on his own. And I saw another coach who barely played his own kid.
Does the club really get to know the players? What they want out of soccer? How they are feeling? For those who want to play in college, what do they actually do to support it?
