This might not be the right forum for this question but wanted to put it out there somewhere.

In our game Saturday a player from the opposing team reacted to a ball coming off the post. She dove at the ball but realized she wasn't going to get it so she extended her arm and slapped the ball into the goal. She received a yellow card.

Should this be a straight red card?

If my defensive player would have reached her arm out to stop it from going in the goal, it would have been a red card.

Is there a difference?

The forward would get a yellow for handling or attempting to score with the hand and the goal wouldn't count. A forward really can't get a red in any way there.

The defender could be given a red if there was a chance to deny a "goal scoring" opportunity.

This is what I was told, Unless it is an indirect, goalkick, throwin or the defending teams free kick it would be considered a goal scoring opportunity