Why is it so hard for PARENTS(Adults) to get into their heads that sooner or later with parents sitting all over the sidelines and cheering and screaming as if each game is the World Cup final will eventually cause word to be exchanged between parents. Her is a great scene from this past weekend Two teams were set to play and a team from the Coast parents decided to sit up and down the sideline with several having video camera's setup as the other team was setting up the one coastal parent intentionaly moved her camera directly infornt of the other parents line of site. I really wish the USYSA and SCYSA would implement a policy that whatever bench a team takes the parents are to sit directly across from their players. It is not a hard thin to do it just takes common sense which alot of Parents do not have. And no I was not part of either team just a by-stander that was truely amazed at how some adults act....
Thanks for the post. This is a pest peeve of mine. Show up to the field and the other team parents are spread across both sides of the midfield.
not disagreeing with the fact that parents are rude etc. but I sit where I have the best view of the game, taking into coonsideration the position of the sun, AR, etc. I don't care if that's near the other team or not. Anyways, I a try to avoid talking to either set of parents. If someone wants to sit with me, fine. If they want to make comments or ask questions, they better expect that I WILL say what I think.
If people would just be considerate of each other and show the same kind of sportsmanship on the sideline that we expect from players on the field, there would be no reason to have to separate people. If players can be expected to go out and play their hardest to win and yet show sportsmanship during and after the game, then parents and other fans should likewise be expected to be able to sit near each other and cheer on their own players while not deriding the other teams, or getting upset when someone else cheers theirs.
Let's all MODEL what we expect our young people to learn from a sport, and we won't have problems on or off the field.
I would have to agree with my good friend Chass and add that the coaches are also partially at fault in my opinion. what I have done at times in the past (fortunately I have a wonderful parent group so I dont have to enforce this these days) is to address this in my preseason parent meeting what my player, coaches and parent game day expectations are and what violating this policy would mean so we are all on the same page before the first whistle is blown and you find that even though there might be questions ask by opposing parents as in this case, most times my parents will do the right thing and avoid the confrontation note I said most times because at the end of the day we are all human and not perfect in any way shape or form.
Just my thoughts on the matter at hand.
Had a bad example of how things can get out of control. Center ref, in a championship games, let it get out of control. Lots of over the top physical challenges, slides etc... Parents getting hotter and hotter, then, one child slides another one, the slider gets a broken arm... slide under the other kid too deep, the weight of the falling child actually caused the break. IMHO the slider, kind of caused the break. Parents over boiled, bad language, references about needing to leave in a hurry. Being seperated by a few feet did not matter that much. I like getting away from everybody else, so I do not have to listen.
The fundamental problem was the ref did not do his job, for which he gets paid. IMHO
Same issue at another championship game. No calls, allowed things to get hotter and hotter. NO injuries there to speak of except - a broken toe or two.
Refs should earn the center spot, not just get assigned. We should have some kind of number on each ref, like a FICO score. Whomever has the best score of the three should get the important job. The coaches should get to rate each ref, each game. And just roll the number up. Simple.
We had a young lady on our side line one time who could ref College, Olympic teams, or MLS. And she was on the side... too funny.
never thought that I would feel compelled to post here about this subject (yeah, I know) but just yesterday we had a very competitive match that ended in a 0-1 loss for us. Players knew we fell down in vital areas but were looking forward to addressing it in training. When leaving the bench, I hear from diagionally across the pitch one of my parents screaming at one of my players (who was NOT his child), making threats to a 12 y/o just because the player told our team we need to communicate top to bottom. WOW-maybe I am wrong but this is not baseball where you get 3 strikes- parent is no longer allowed to be on sidelines at our games- just cannot tolerate it and certainly am not going to give the guy another 2 go's at it.
I really didn't know they made cellophane underwear in his size.
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The fundamental problem was the ref did not do his job, for which he gets paid. IMHO
Refs should earn the center spot, not just get assigned. We should have some kind of number on each ref, like a FICO score. Whomever has the best score of the three should get the important job. The coaches should get to rate each ref, each game. And just roll the number up. Simple.
Any referee assignor in the state is going to put his best officials on the toughest, most important, highest-level matches being played that week. No assignor is going to intentionally put an inexperienced, or "bad ref" on a difficult match.
Now, are there always enough quality officials available to officiate these competitive matches on a given weekend? No. Probably not every weekend when there are college matches, tournaments, R3PL matches, etc. going on at the same time.
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Had a bad example of how things can get out of control. Center ref, in a championship games, let it get out of control. Lots of over the top physical challenges, slides etc... Parents getting hotter and hotter, then, one child slides another one, the slider gets a broken arm... slide under the other kid too deep, the weight of the falling child actually caused the break. IMHO the slider, kind of caused the break. Parents over boiled, bad language, references about needing to leave in a hurry. Being seperated by a few feet did not matter that much. I like getting away from everybody else, so I do not have to listen.
The fundamental problem was the ref did not do his job, for which he gets paid. IMHO
Same issue at another championship game. No calls, allowed things to get hotter and hotter. NO injuries there to speak of except - a broken toe or two.
Refs should earn the center spot, not just get assigned. We should have some kind of number on each ref, like a FICO score. Whomever has the best score of the three should get the important job. The coaches should get to rate each ref, each game. And just roll the number up. Simple.
We had a young lady on our side line one time who could ref College, Olympic teams, or MLS. And she was on the side... too funny.
While I agree with you that there have been instances when the reffing could have been better, there have even been days when I look back and felt that I could have done a better job as a coach win, lose or draw the fact of the matter is that should not be an excuse for us to go "buck wild" I feel that it is the coaches responsibility to voice his/her concern with the referee with regards to how the game is flowing and have the referee provide some insight as to what he/she is seeing out there so the coach can plan accordingly (definately not saying that allowing a "blood bath" is ok)and have the kids refocus on playing the game not the referee and the referee might now start to see some of the things they were missing prior to the coaches conversation vs yelling at them. I have found that "you catch more bees with honey vs vinegar.
Again this just just my opinion as I have chosen the latter in the past and lets just say it did not work in my favor.
1. All referees have a "grade" it runs from grade 9 on down, most of the referees in the charleston area are grade 8 and we have a few that go on down to a 6 I believe maybe even a 5 or two not 100% sure, I am however 100% that the assignors take into consideration who they assisgn what games based on the referees ability to manage that particular game or you might see me in a charleston battery center "scary I know"
I hear you guys... but, I saw what I saw. I did not have a child in the match with the broken arm, so I believe I was seeing it with clear view point. When you hear smacking, slapping and see a balled up fist. More than 20-30 slides in a girls game... I do not disagree with you in principal, but in the specifics of what I see, from time to time, I must.
Going buck wild I do not agree with either. Coaches try to discuss things with the officals from time to time. And it goes from receptive to angry, by MR. Offical very easily.
Kevin, my point is simple. Are all grade 8's the same? If not, their should be further stratification. I would also assume, and may be right just because you have a lower number does not automatically make you superior. Getting a lower number higher certification, probably means more years doing it. Without constant feed back they will not improve.
To me it is like a family doctor versus a surgeon. Family doctors get more out of date over time, because their knowledge base is getting older and older. And their feed back is not as clear cut as a surgeon. Surgions get instant feed back if they do a good job or not. Thus, surgeons get better with age. Ref's simply need that feed back loop. Assessors or assignors do not see them game to game, week to week to provide that.
And I am not blaming the tilt of the planet on the refs. We had some really good teams of refs lately. The delta between the cream of the crop, and the rest is HUGE.
I am sure this issue has arised many times before and being an official myself I can certainly see where there is room to grow with regards to continued education of officials, but I can also say that there are and have been many opportunities for officials to improve their game through ODP training camp for officials, Game day developmental assesments and Mentor Programs just to name a few with these options being OPTIONAL It makes it very difficult for the referee pool to achieve their maximum potential.
I have truly enjoyed this discussion and I hope that the powers that be will take a closer look at some of the concerns shared here and hopefully "do something" vs becoming offended.
until next time...
It has been a good discussion...and I'd like to reiterate that all of the responsibility for "controlling the game" shouldn't be placed solely on the officials. There's a fine art to officiating a game so that the players decide the outcome on the field, yet are held to good standards of sportsmanship and safety; of course it takes wisdom and experience to find that balance, and some are always going to be better than others, just like in any other activity. At the same time, coaches can do a lot to set the tone of the game for both their players and their parents, and in doing so can make the game much easier or much more difficult for the officials to manage. Fouls are going to happen in any competition due to the nature of the game, but teaching players the expectation of playing hard yet fairly can greatly reduce problems on the field, while teaching them to see how much they can get away with before getting caught can have the opposite effect.
Our tone on the sidelines also carries over onto the field and even to the parents' sideline...I know sometimes I get agitated and let things show that shouldn't, and I have to remind myself to take a step back to help defuse the problem rather than contribute to escalating it. It's difficult sometimes, especially when you feel like things are happening that shouldn't and you want to go to bat for your team--I got a little wound up this past weekend and wish I'd handled it better--but in trying to deal with problems we as coaches should think about the Hippocratic Oath all doctors take before dealing with physical ailments...
"First, do no harm."
Amen
I would also say we should pay the refs more money period. And really more money as the age of the kids go up. It would only add $1 or $2 per kid per match. Just one guys opinion.
Thanks for the dialog...
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I would also say we should pay the refs more money period. And really more money as the age of the kids go up. It would only add $1 or $2 per kid per match. Just one guys opinion.
An extra $2 per kid per match? I like it!
U-13 and above, that's 22 kids on the field....that's an extra $44 per match. I promise you.....you will get my best effort! 
My team attended the same tournament, and I would like to add just one more observation to the reasonable remarks made before me.
I talked with several referees, and some officiated up to 6 games a day (often in 95 degrees heat)! Not because they are money hungry, but because there were not more referees available for over 260 games in two days. A few games had only two officials instead of three. Wouldn't it be nice if some "know-it-all"-parents on the sidelines decided to actually attend a referee course or two in order to alleviate the shortage of referees and then PERHAPS help elevating the level of officiating.
I watched eight games this past weekend and have to say "Hats off" to the group of referees I saw! At the same time, I'm all for calling it tight in the interest of the players' health. I always enjoy seeing the better (more skilled) team win, not the more physical.
Wishing Cesa Spartanburg's #9 a speedy recovery.
I like your point on "calling it tight in the interest of the players' health". I too enjoy seeing the better (more skilled) team win, not the more physical.
Hurst, I was thinking, $2 times the roster, so $60 extra, on average.
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I like your point on "calling it tight in the interest of the players' health". I too enjoy seeing the better (more skilled) team win, not the more physical.
Hurst, I was thinking, $2 times the roster, so $60 extra, on average.
Thank you. Have the assignor call me anytime. I'd be happy to do all of your matches. That's what I like, a customer that appreciates "quality" and isn't afraid to pay for it! 
As for calling it tight, I officiated the tournament this past weekend and I encountered my most "difficult match" to date. I prefer to call it tight to keep things from getting out of hand. I had a match between two high-level U-13 boys teams. Very good, very athletic, physical teams that had their share of ODP players on their rosters.
Four of five minutes into the match I decide to call my first foul, right in front of the visiting team's coach. I call his defender for coming through the back of the offensive player. The coach says, "Come on Mr. Referee, that's not a foul. My boy is playing the ball. You can't call that".
What kind of signal does that send to me? Probably not the signal that the moms on the far side of the field wanted to hear. He's telling me this is a high-level match, LET THE BOYS PLAY.
I was consistent, and both teams were aggressive. I did need to issue three yellow cards in the second half in order to settle things down. By that time a boy was injured on an aggressive play when he collided with the opposing goalkeeper. He initiated the contact, flew over the keeper and landed on his head. His dad came over to me and my crew and let us know that his kid was probably done for the tournament and that it was my fault because "I didn't protect the players".
That bothered me a bit because as the father of five, I've always preached safety first.
But what if the coach had not reacted as he did to the first call that was made in the match? Would I have called every push, pull, poke and grab? Probably not......but I probably would have called more than what I did.
This thread has gone in different directions but hits on alot of good points..I think it is a mindset of how the parents act based on how long their kids have been playing..
I was at league games last Saturday and witnessed parents of U9 or 10 players screaming their heads off with instructions..Not yelling at each other that comes at U11 thru 16..17s and 18s are the more mature groups...Sometimes.
We went to Charlotte and won a tournament there and while the parents did not yell at us..They had plenty to say to the officials and since it was blistering hot there they decided to hold the awards presentation in the shade and the parents acted like they did not want to bother walking over..And we wonder why kids act the way they do..
To me, a soccer parent should grow with the years that their kids play soccer..I was one of those parents years ago.I like to think I matured and grew as my children did..So it does not surprise me when parents of young kids are yelling at the top of their lungs..I figure they to will grow to understand it better..Parents of older kids that act that way..I just shake my head and say they never really enjoyed their kids playing soccer..We were also very fortunate over the last five years to be on the same team with good coaching and with parents that enjoyed watching the game for the most part..We would have a weed or two over the years but they don't last long..
As someone who use to ref a lot, here is what I would say.
The best refs start off strict and then relax as the game goes. This allows the players to know that it is not going to be tolerated. After they know this, many will stop committing the silly fouls. On the other hand, it is much more difficult to start loose and get tight. Emotions and hormones get going and can't be controlled. I would much rather have an official start tight and loosen up. And they must be consistant, that way a coach can adjust the way their team is playing.
fritz,
That's a very good general rule, and consistency is most important. If it's a foul against one team, the same foul should count against the other team.
But in the interest of being consistent, why wouldn't a foul in the first half not be a foul in the second half? Why wouldn't a referee select to call a foul in the penalty area in the manner that he would call the same foul at midfield?
There is a great deal of subjectivity involved while a referee is trying to be objective.
As you know, it's not easy. Golden rule: Be fair, be consistent, keep the players safe.
One last thing
How many times have we seen players or parents that are a distraction for the team as a whole but the coach looks the other way because he/she thinks the player makes the team or is all that..Not a healthy atmosphere for a team and encourages parents to try and throw their weight around..I think everyone can relate to this one..
Hurst,
Not that I wouldn't call it, but...
My experience was that if you call it, and are vocal about "no more", the foul stops occuring.
For instance, if the first 3 times a player hits a player from behind on a ball in the air you call it and tell them no more in front of everyone, it usually stops. Therefore not needed to call it later, relaxing.
Consistancy is the most important thing. I am okay with a consistantly bad ref if they call it the same way all the time.
"I really wish the USYSA and SCYSA would implement a policy that whatever bench a team takes the parents are to sit directly across from their players."
Please don't do it. I'm with Clark on this one. Find me a place out of this brutal heat, and that goes double for my fair skinned 4 year old watching her sister. Last week at Trident, MPSC and Cainhoy parents huddled under the shade of a big Oak was quite a sight. And not a bad word between them. In fact quite the opposite.
Just coaching one team this season and having the luxury of watching my U11 son play most of his games and enjoying my moments on the parent sideline with parents of different clubs, etc. I know in the lowcountry, at least, many of these kids are close friends (in school) and that goes for the parents also. had a great time opening weekend with some friends from CUSC and would hate for any legislative pressure removing that opportunity.
Just use common sense parents please.
I watched a game where a friend was the center ref. When a parent complained about a call, the ref responded to the parent, "sir, the call is made by what the referee saw, not you." Seems logical to me.
