If I had an answer concerning this I would post it. I understand that saying sorry does not make a situation better or allow someone to empathize. This is something that a parent should never have to go through, yet it happens.
I know that you are flooded with emotions right now. I know that you are physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. Do your best to take care of yourself and your wife. One day at a time...hang in there.
A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out. Isaiah 42:3