SC Soccer Forums SCSoccer.com Forums Girls Varsity Soccer 2010 Taco Bell Viking Cup

Marta,

I can’t believe I’m about to do this since I have never posted anything before and I’m also sure my comments are probably going to make me sound like a bit of a prude which is not my intent, but I'll let the chips fall where they may... My daughter plays for BC. I too was at the game today. To say the ref’s caused “frustration” may be reaching a bit, but that’s soccer -- or any sport for that matter. All ref’s are human and as one told me one time they are “paid to make calls – not always the right ones”. Gotta give ‘em credit for getting out there. Also, you guys won and the score should be posted correctly. No arguments here. My problem with your post however is in calling our girls “unsportsmanlike” for refusing to shake hands. I’m not sure what you saw, but I saw most of the girls shaking hands from both teams on the field right after the whistle. I didn’t do a head count but I didn’t notice anyone not shaking hands. Maybe I just missed something. What I can say with a fair amount of certainty is that if any of our girls didn’t shake hands, then it will be addressed by the coaching staff.

The real issue I wanted to address here is the subject of language on the field. I promise I’m not directing this totally towards BE but with at least one yellow card issued today against BE for “foul language” it really made me wonder how coaches in general deal with the issue. I’m not a Puritan by any stretch of the imagination, but my daughter is continually amazed at the amount of profanity that she says is used on the field. She says that today's game ranked pretty high in the language department as well. I also know that our girls probably aren't completely innocent either. I know coaches can’t always hear what’s going on, but they also can’t be completely in the dark about it, especially when players are carded for the issue. Now again, any player who is comfortable with saying these type of things on the field may have permission to speak this way at home. But I'm also pretty certain they aren’t allowed to talk like this in the classroom and to me any HS related activities are an extension of the classroom and should be subject to the same rules. Any coaches care to comment? Parents? Have I just officially turned into my parents??

I guess my final thoughts are that before you call out entire teams for being “unsportsmanlike”, I hope you understand that things work both ways. You are definitely entitled to your opinion and have the freedom to post anything you like, but please keep in mind that we’re talking about kids here and we should all strive to make sure that they understand that at the end of the day, soccer is just a game. Someone’s gonna win and someone’s gonna lose most every game. It’s our job as parents, coaches (and even referees!) to make sure we are all doing our best to teach these young ladies what is and isn’t acceptable, whether its on the field, in the classroom or in life.

Dang. Can’t believe I wrote all this. Sorry for the sermon. I think I’m just gonna go back to “anonymous status” for the rest of my daughter’s career..

JohnnyB,

Thanks for acknowledging the score and that it should be posted correctly.

And you're right, things do go both ways. When I started this thread it was in response to 202677 on the other Viking Cup thread who wrote "bad sportmanship from the BE team". Unfortunately being a newby on this board I inadvertently started a new thread instead of joining in on the other. But the point is that the entire BE team was called out for being "unsportsmanlike" by 202677.

I am not aware of any parent at BE that allows their children to use foul language at home. At BE students receive demerits and detentions for profanity. Is that the same at public schools? You're right that there is considerable profanity on the field in both club and high school games by many teams. I'm not sure why you suggest that because a player used profanity on the field they must be allowed to do so at home. These are teenagers we are dealing with and I'm sure the overwhelming majority do things away from home they would not do at home. It's the nature of being a teenager. All the parents I know, both at BE and elsewhere are conscientious about teaching their children acceptable behavior.

You further suggest that a player receiving a yellow card for profanity in a game should be sanctioned by the school they attend? That's stretching it pretty far. Couldn't this practice be extended to yellow cards in general? Be careful what you wish for. It's certainly something for the coaches to address and parents too for that matter but not the school. If a school thinks a team is out of hand then get another coach.

Finally, you're right again. Soccer is just a game. It is also a teaching opportunity and I'm sure all the players learned lessons this weekend. The main point of my posts is that a win should be credited to BE in the stats by the Viking Cup for the BC game.

Does anyone remember my "language" comment on an earlier post? This weekend, we had a kid from a AAAA school elbow our goalie twice in the face while they were awaiting a corner kick, and after that SPIT in our defender's face and GUESS WHAT - the ref standing five feet away walked in and warned OUR GOALIE! The ref 50 yards away sprinted in and yellow carded the G kid (thank you), and tournament director Jonathan apologized after the tournament and said that he saw the whole thing and that it was awful.

We have three torn jerseys from kids grabbing our kids and slinging them down. One of the dirtiest teams we have ever played.

Could have fixed the whole thing if we had hit the last two PK's after going up 1-0 in PK's.

That's girls' soccer if the refs let it get out of hand, and we all know that happens. But you know, when a kid spits in a kids face, she should be banned from high school soccer forever.

Marta,
You can drop the HIGHER standard deal..Kids at BE cuss just like any other school..public or private..Your comment just means there are more kids in detention at BE than other schools..
As far as the refs go when it comes to girls soccer..Put your belts on it's going to be a rough season....Why they let girls play so wreckless? I can't understand it..I don't want refs running around with whistles in their mouths..but you got to make the calls and keep control of the games..If not..players get hurt.

"I’m not a Puritan by any stretch of the imagination, but my daughter is continually amazed at the amount of profanity that she says is used on the field. She says that today's game ranked pretty high in the language department as well. I also know that our girls probably aren't completely innocent either. I know coaches can’t always hear what’s going on, but they also can’t be completely in the dark about it, especially when players are carded for the issue."

I didn't see this match, but I watched a lot of others, including three games that I had the pleasure of officiating.

JohnnyB, unfortunately with the 2-man system there is no official in the middle to hear most of the potty-mouths. If the coaches can't hear it, and the fans/parents can't always hear it....how do you expect the officials to hear it when they are often further away. Simply go to a 3-man system and the ref in the middle is responsible for monitoring the language, etc.

ROH, no excuse for that garbage. As you pointed out, even in a 2-man system, there is at least one referee right in (or along) the penalty area. Anything along the goal line involving the keeper should be spotted and properly addressed.

cht, right on regarding officiating girls soccer. I am not a big fan of "we're going to let the girls play". I like to set the tone from the start. I tell the captains and coaches prior to the coin toss that I'm not going to tolerate any crap. If you are not playing the ball, it's a foul. If you come from behind, through a player, to get the ball, it's a foul. Significant contact (even shoulder-to-shoulder) with NO chance of winning the ball.....foul. Set the tone early and the girls will play soccer and the parents and coaches don't have to worry about anything getting out of hand.

Simple solution on the soccer field, classroom, or at home:

At the first sign of unwarranted or undesired behavior, address it, make it obvious to everyone, and penalize it if necessary. At the second sign, up the punishment. There is no excuse for a kid taking the back of a kid's leg out with no chance to get the ball and having two refs just say play on. Every kid on the field then says to themselves, "Guess we get to do that to everyone today." And, you spit in my face, you lose teeth. If I had known that the kid has spit in my defender's face in front of the ref, I would have pulled my kids off the field.

It is our job to be the role models, whether as refs, coaches, etc. Do your job.

Thanks to Viking Cup for correcting the BE-BC score.

Good Luck to Wando today.

Agree with Hurst and ROH...behavior that is likely to lead to injury (whether through direct action of increasing the chances of retaliation and escalation) needs to be addressed. Don't get me wrong; soccer is a contact sport, and some physical pressure is expected; I hate to see every little bump and nudge called when players are simply going for the ball, and I'm a fan of "If you get knocked down (in the normal course of play), get back up and play harder!" At the same time, intentional contact meant to attack the players and not the ball is pretty easy to distinguish in most cases and needs to be addressed quickly before really unfortunate things can happen...when an athlete already has a season-ending injury or a previously-uncalled player goes straight to a red card for a blatant violation, it's too late.

I feel fortunate that in most situations when physical and verbal contact gets out of hand, it has been addressed by both coaches and officials; it sets a good example when coaches of opposing teams can back each other up and set clear expectations of sportsmanship towards competitors. And while I appreciate officials who let the players play their game hard without letting the whistle always decide the course of the match, I also appreciate those who set clear expectations for safe and sportsmanlike conduct--even when the girls drawing the whistles are mine. It pays off in the end.

Sounds like some advice from the following pages is needed ...

Love your kids? Prove it by beating them



Op-Ed Piece on Beating Kids

Great article...all this talk about what should if a player does this to another...let 'em play (unless danderous play) this isn't the EPL! Ref's / fans will never see what happens first...example, watching a girl's 4-A game a year ago upstate SC, an offensive player with a defender on her. Player goes to ground and appears to slide tackle other player. After the girl slide tackles she jumps up and starts swinging at the opposing player. Ref issues red card /majority of fans chanting get her off the field. Did she deserve a red card? Well, the reason player appeared to go to the ground on a slide tackle, she was pulled down by her ponytail. Life is not fair nor is the game of soccer, the best team on the field is not always the winner...DEAL WITH IT!! Let 'em play.