Hurst... Not to be a chauvenist ...
Girls and boys should be treated differently
As in my point 2, it will be heavily dependent on the school/coach vs club/coach. I am not saying not to do it or prevent them,I am trying to address the question which is U13 and U14 players who are not in HS.
I believe that girls can play with a big age difference (7th grade vs Junior) and not be heavily impacted.
Boys on the other hand are different in that these are the growing years and the physical difference alone can be an issue not only from within the team but also from opponents.
So it would require an honest assesment of which is best for the long run for the individual. Popularity is fleeting, belonging to the clique is fleeting and that is a lesson that needs to be understood. If that is what you want, then do it, otherwise if you are seriously looking to improve consider the long run.
As you said playing JV will not get you anywhere, not playing club ball will seriously diminish your chances.
As a father of a girl that played (and one coming up) I can tell you that the JV program in most schools and the varsity programs in some schools do not come close to providing the same class of training as club. I can tell you of many conversations on how slow the game is or how frustrating the lack of skill at certain positions was.
Did she enjoy it? Abosolutely
Did she do the social thing? absolutely
Did she play varsity? 3 years in a very good HS team
Did she play JV? Not when she was in 7th or 8th grade. Again big school, numbers not an issue.
Did she miss anything? No.
And in my case I had a boyfriend problem in Senior year which she chose to not compete after making ODP region camp as an alternate.
So as we all appear to be saying "it is up to you"
