Northern Ireland 1-0 EnglandThis is hilarious commentary from the ESPN Soccernet 'summary' that was updated throughout the match today. I pull for England, but it sounds like they really stunk up the joint in Belfast, Northern Ireland.
It might be better (and make more sense) if you scroll from the bottom to get a feel for what this guy has been watching.
![[Big Grin]](images/icons/grin.gif)
95' - FULL-TIME: Northern Ireland triumph! England were absolutely dreadful; completely devoid of ideas or creative thought and were brilliantly stiffled by the home side.
95' - Oooh! Feeney strikes a low shot inches wide of Robinson's far post from just inside the penalty area.
94' - Rooney strikes a shot a few yards over the bar from distance. Taylor didn't look too concerned.
91' - Pictures of Eriksson on the England bench show a man preparing himself for an on-slaught.
90' - Despite being on the brink of the most humiliating defeat for a long time, England have still to create any real chances.
89' - There will be four minutes of stoppage time, much to the disgust of the Windsor Park crowd.
87' - Oooh! A long throw in to the Northern Ireland penalty area is flicked on by Ferdinand, but Owen is inches away from getting on the end of it.
87' - Beckham cries for a penalty as he tries to cross in to the area. Nothing from the referee, quite rightly.
86' - Every kick of the ball is being roared on by this wonderful Northern Ireland crowd; there is going to be one heck of a party in Belfast tonight.
85' - England win a corner and manage to exert a little pressure, but they can't get a meaningful effort on goal. Taylor has had little to do all game, in truth.
84' - Seven minutes to go; Northern Ireland are on the brink of their first victory over England for 33 years.
83' - Eriksson is going to be battered for this; England have been truly dreadful - clueless.
80' - SUB: Hargreaves on, Lampard off. Odd change from Eriksson, although Lampard hasn't played well at all. Beckham seems confused as to the tactical make-up of the side now.
79' - Gillespie wins his side a corner as his cross is deflected behind by Cole. The home side have been excellent in the last twenty minutes or so.
76' - The crowd are electric at the moment; they won't be able to believe what their seeing. This would be a massive result - and they probably deserve it.
75' - SUB: Gerrard off, Defoe on. Attacking change from Eriksson, who needs a couple of goals to prevent a truly almighty backlash from the media tomorrow morning.
75' - Eriksson prepares to make another change; England are looking desperate at the moment.
74' - Northern Ireland are 16 minutes away from a truly historic victory; remember, they have not beaten England here at Windsor Park since 1927.
73' - GOAL! Davis clips a great ball over the top of the England defence to David Healy. The striker collects the ball inside the area and crashes a superb right-foot shot in to the far corner.
66' - This has been the worst England performance I have ever seen. There has been no creativity, no invention, and not a lot of ambition.
64' - England look shambolic at the moment; this system doesn't bring the best out of anyone. Beckham is being very disciplined and is remaining in a deep-lying role, but he has had nothing to do - he should be up-field, firing in some crosses.
58' - Eriksson and McClaren look at each other for a moment or two; if they were at at an Italian restaurant with a candle between them, you could say it was a look of love. Instead, they're at a football match and it is actually a look of desperation.
56' - England haven't looked any better in this second half than they did in the first. Lampard and Gerrard in particular have been anonymous.
53' - SUB: Cole on for SWP. One Chelsea man replaces another in a like-for-like swap from Eriksson. England remain in their 4-5-1 formation, though they have looked distinctly toothless so far.
46' - HALF-TIME: England leave the field looking dejected, frustrated and downright angry. Rooney has a few choice words for Ferdinand, who mutters something in his ear as he jogs past towards the tunnel.
43' - England are looking so very frustrated at the moment; they have played very poorly and have been thwarted at every turn by the Northern Ireland defence.
37' - Oooh! A moment of madness from Ferdinand as he allows a tame header to run towards Robinson, unaware that Elliot was stood behind him. The England goalkeeper is alert to the danger and hacks the ball clear.
33' - For some peculiar reason, the referee has asked stadium officials to turn off the big screen; he is apparently upset that the crowd can see replays of controversial moments of action.
24' - England are finally managing to make some meaningful progress in this match, with SWP looking increasingly dangerous out on the right wing.
19' - There is a good tempo to the game; it is benig played at a fast pace and with great enthusiasm from both sets of players. But it is also very scrappy; lots of lose passes and mis-control.
17' - Carragher is being uncharacteristically adventurous so far; a couple of times he has brought the ball out of defence and ran at the Northern Ireland back-line.
15' - Rooney and Beckham are still being booed; I assume it is because they are the two highest-profile England players, though that still doesn't really explain the hostile reception fully.
13' - It's been another sloppy start from both sides; England haven't managed to get going yet, and the home side can't seem to string any passes together.
7' - Lampard is down and requires some treatment after getting a kick on his ankle. He limps off to the sidelines; a cause of concern for England.
5' - A great run from Carragher as he collects the ball forty yards out and drives in to the penalty area, though Gillespie manages to prod the ball out of play.
4' - England win another corner through good play out on the right wing by SWP; he could torment the home side if he is feeling 'up for it' tonight.
2' - Beckham is booed on his first touch, as is Rooney; I couldn't tell you why that is.
0' - England's last defeat in Belfast was in 1927. Think on that, readers.
0' - England will line-up with their new 4-5-1 formation, with Beckham continuing in his role in front of the back-four, and Rooney stuck out on the left-wing.
0' - There is a fantastic atmosphere inside Windsor Park tonight; it's party-time for the fans inside this tiny little stadium.
0' - England will be within touching distance of qualification should they win at Windsor Park. Join our expert summariser from 19:45 BST.
