SC Soccer Forums SCSoccer.com Forums Other Prep Sports NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND -- The Soccer Version

1. ALL teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the
championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be
on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held
accountable.

If after two years they have not won the championship, their soccer
balls and equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the
championship.

2. ALL kids will be expected to have the same soccer skills at the
same time, even if they do not have the same conditions or
opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made
for lack of interest in soccer, a desire to perform athletically, or
genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents.

ALL KIDS WILL PLAY SOCCER AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!

3. Kids may participate in other sports, but their proficiency will
be measured on the soccer pitch ONLY. Kids are expected to apply all
their skills in soccer, whether they practice soccer, swimming,
gymnastics, or any other sport.

4. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own, without
instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their
instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in soccer,
have limited athletic ability, or whose parents don't like soccer.

5. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept
in the 4th, 8th and 11th game.

This will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected
to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same
minimum goals.

No child gets ahead, so no child is left behind.

Compliments of The Politically Incorrect

wayne—brilliant EXCEPT the scores can't be determined by players ACTUALLY playing soccer—There must be bubble tests on the 4th, 8th, and 11th games—

So, everyone bring your # 2 pencils to the playoffs.