>>Every time I start on one of these threads, I'm reminded of how imperfect the format is for real discourse. I could pick up the telephone and call you, but then everyone else would not get the benefit of our collective wisdom.<<

Multi-way communication is tough -- but rewarding. You have my thanks and gratitude for engaging in the dialogue.

>>First, I obviously did not take enough time to craft my initial post. Overall, my experience on the SCYSA board was very positive and my opionion of SCYSA members is very high. SOMETIMES, I felt like I was dealing with cheaters. I should have been clearer on this.<<

I thought you were. I didn't think you walked around believing that the membership were a bunch of cheaters all of the time. It's the moments you felt that way that are so telling.

Sometimes it's tough to empathize with those sitting across from the table. Imagine how they feel -- they're being accused of something, they have absolutely no power while SCYSA holds all of the power, and it appears new rules and bylaws are being created out of thin air. Tough situation unless they meant to do something wrong. That's why it's important to always be working on your bylaws and not be afraid of making written rulings and communicating them -- there's much less chance that the people that you're ruling on feel like you expected them to read your mind.

>>Regarding the SCYSA by-laws and rules--they are less than perfect but are the result of years of hard work, as you have noted. SCYSA is constantly looking for volunteers to help with these kinds of things. Would be a good use of your time.<<

Unfortunately, quite a while ago I had to drop out of volunteering for a personal issue. When I resolve it, I will absolutely go back and look for the best way I can help South Carolina youth soccer. At this moment, I don't expect that it would be the SCYSA nor would the SCYSA welcome me. However, I'll certainly consider it when I can.

>>How long do I expect folks to wait for a resolution? I have no idea, since I don't know when the clock started ticking. From the sound of it, this is a messy issue. Messes often take time to clean-up. With this kind of issue there are hearings, appeals, more hearings, etc. All done by volunteers who are also trying to earn livings and live real lives outside of soccer. So yeah, sometimes it takes a long time.<<

And in the meantime, because there's an attempt at secrecy, there are increasing numbers of rumors. Now...in my experience...there's two ways to handle rumors about on-going events. One is try to clamp down on all rumors -- didn't work for Nixon, probably won't work here. The second is to be straightforward about what is known and what is going on.

>>SCYSA and transparancy??--I'll have to agree with you there. Communication is not their strength.<<

I see you wrote a post modifying this statement after issuing such a "scathing" [Smile] criticism. I'll address this subject more in that one.

>>I didn't really care for this comment: "Respectfully, I doubt you would be advising such patience and sensitivity if it were your child directly affected." You obviously don't know me.<<

I'm sorry if it offended you; and yet I do believe it. I believe that if your child were put on a team by one club, then that team was listed in Hotstat, then the team suddenly disappeared -- you'd want to know a lot more information immediately.

Does this in any way lessen my immense respect for you? Absolutely not. What little I know of you, and what little I've interacted with you, you truly seem like an honorable person.

I'm now interested in this for a selfish reason as well as a larger concern about soccer. For years, long before CESA, my kid has trained in Columbia with CESA. If those requests are granted, she will no longer be able to. With all due respect -- I'm not going to sit around and wait on a ruling before I speak out -- I think it's wrong for anyone to try to not let my kid practice with anyone anywhere she wants.

If it were your kid and you didn't have a relatioship with the people at NECSA or the SCYSA, I respectfully think your position on this might shift at least a little bit closer to mine.

>>Finally, based on what you know, your belief is that the request by NECSA "transcends impolite behavior and appears to be bullying and coercion at its worst, plain and simple." We all make judgments based on the information we have available. However, as I read your post, it seems to me that you are making a judgment about someone's motives and motivation.<<

I am absolutely making a judgement about someone's motives and motivation if the post earlier in this thread is valid. I am careful in my language; that's why you see things like "what appears to be requested by NECSA." I am judging that it appears that someone put the narrow financial interest of his club ahead of the children of Columbia. I am also judging that it appears that someone appears possibly vindictive -- not only against a competitive club, but against children, parents, and coaches. Finally, I am judging that if this information is valid, and if CSC board members didn't know about it, then that would constitute -- well, something not very good. My guess is that CSC board members absolutely knew about all of this; it would be suicide if they didn't.

What I've noticed is that very few people (if any) want to debate the specifics. I understand your position -- don't talk about it, don't think about it, until it's decided and maybe someone lets you know what's going on.

>>Unless you have spoken to Ron, I don't think you are in position to make an informed judgement on this. Sure, you can judge a person's motives by their observable actions. You have acknowledged [I think] that you don't know all of the facts. If that is the case, then perhaps assessing motives is premature and it is not "plain and simple".<<

Making judgements with incomplete information is a fact of life. This is particularly true with respect to SC Club soccer since the information is incredibly difficult to get. However, to establish my bona fides with regard to this, when I am wrong I will publicly state I am wrong and will go to great lengths to make that clear. What began this thread was a public apology, in fact several public apologies, in which I stated that I wasn't going to be a part of publicizing a rumor. Well...someone published an apparent reference giving dates and actions proving that I believed people much too quickly.

I don't know the facts either. I do know Ron and the folks at NECSA. I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.<<

I understand your reaction; it's human nature to be loyal to people you know and like. But at the same time I guess that's what disappoints me the most. I understand your loyalty to your former board members. Heck...I think that the folks at CESA are great too.

However, I can promise you that if NECSA were trying to expand into Greenville and CESA wrote this, that I would be taking the same position I am today except against CESA. I believe in loyalty to an idea first [in this case, best helping all of the children of Columbia] and to people I like second.