It's up to the coaches of "both" teams to work out what's best for the player involved? I think the high school coach is charged with looking out for what is best for his or her team...not necessarily the player.

If the state allowed a 7th grade girl to play varsity high school soccer....are you saying that the HS coach has to check with the club coach if the girl comes out for the team? Clear it with the club coach first?

Kids play sports because they find it fun. Eliminate the fun and soon you eliminate the kid.