INTEGRITY.....HOW WOULD YOU RATE YOURSELF WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR COACHING?
If you’re committed to using your passion and purpose to serve the Lord through your coaching and want to be successful at it, God requires integrity. So we need to look at what integrity is all about and why we can’t coach without it.
God wants you to be passionate about serving Him, but if you don’t have integrity He can’t let you coach for Him. Sure, you might keep your job and have some worldly success, but you’ll have no success for Christ in your coaching.
Integrity is hard to come by these days. I think we know that we live in a world that lacks leadership with integrity at all levels. The newspapers, billboards, TV, radio, news reports, and the Internet reflect the times in which we’re living. With so much negativism and garbage constantly bombarding our eyes and ears, we don’t always make correct choices to be the coaches of integrity we should be. We simply have a lack of integrity in our lives, and we often fl oat through life and our coaching without doing anything to become completely filled with integrity.
Gaining integrity will bring about a revolution in our lives for serving Christ. Take, for instance, dishonesty. It taints the world around us, and we get caught up in it. A lot of Christian men find themselves trapped into maintaining publicly that they are men of integrity, but they only wink at integrity as a barometer to guide them. They are entrapped by their very natures—that of men who are just not who they are supposed to be before God. I’ll bet that if you think about it long enough, you can remember an occasion in the last several days when you were in a position to compromise your honesty. Did you? Were you guilty of stuffing that hotel towel in your bag on a road trip? Or did you give it to a referee beyond what the guy really deserved, even though he needed a new pair of glasses?
Maybe you were tough enough to do it with integrity. If so, then you honored God. If not, you honored the Devil, and your choice was poor. Integrity is not very highly valued these days, as seen by its very lack in our culture. Parts of our society just don’t see that it’s all that important to live with integrity.
It’s almost as though it has become easier to live without it. We are being deceived. God’s plan for you is not going to happen unless you know what integrity is, practice its meaning, and use it in your coaching. A person of integrity follows what Galatians 5:22–23a says: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” These must be your spiritual passions. They create a picture of the way you speak, act, and react with your players.
Throughout this chapter of Galatians, it’s plain to see that each of us is empowered by the Holy Spirit to be a person of integrity. Our very nature needs to represent the integrity of our Savior. Galatians 5:10 says, “I am confident that you will take no other view.” In our commitment to coaching, what really matters is that we have a faith strong enough to be filled with integrity to serve with passion. Coaching goes beyond winning matches. We coach players, impacting their lives for His pleasure and for eternal rewards for them and for us. Winning or losing matches has very little to do with impacting the world. If you win games for any other reasons, it’s not through the integrity God expects you to use.
Integrity is a personal state of completeness. Integrity means honesty. If you have integrity, you’ll be trusted by your players and they’ll commit to you. When you have integrity, what comes out of your mouth matches up to your actions! The world in which we live is lacking leaders who are people of integrity. If you can coach with integrity based on God’s standards, you will not be operating by the world’s standards. A coach who is full of integrity coaches by a system that is God-centered. When integrity is the “official” of your coaching, you will be consistent, and your God-honoring beliefs will be reflected in your words and your walk. Integrity gives you the freedom to be the complete coach God wants you to be.
If you’re not a person of integrity, you’re probably coaching dishonestly. God can’t use you to serve Him if you remain a dishonest coach, a thief, a cheater, a hater, a jealous man, a person who twists the truth, and so on. Do you ever give in to any of the above when coaching? I did, and I was out of line. How about admitting you need to reboot your personal computer and start using integrity at your practice sessions, matches, and team meetings?
In Psalm 15, David shares that we can be coaches of integrity if we do nine things:
• Walk blamelessly and do what’s right (verse 2).
• Speak the truth gently from your heart (verse 2).
• Don’t speak slander against anyone (verse 3).
• Don’t harm anyone’s reputation (verse 3).
• Honor others who love God (verse 4).
• Don’t go back on your word, even when it hurts you (verse 4).
• Lend what’s yours without expecting it back (verse 5).
• Stand up for those in the wrong, even when you could reap financial gains (verse 5).
Getting the job done means that you follow what God says in His Word. If you use other ways to coach, integrity is out the window and your players see right through you. They won’t trust you and commit to you completely. If you’re not coaching with integrity, start to change and Coach God’s way, acting how He would act and saying what He would say. Remember that our success and significance have everything to do with being coaches who exemplify integrity. We must be committed to obey God and be the people of integrity He expects us to be.
God expects His coaches to be full of trust, hope, grace, and mercy when they are coaching and training players, not people who are full of themselves and their agendas. Take a look at your life and see where you are positioning yourself on your way to eternity. When you have integrity, you have the means to move yourself ahead to the plan from which God wants you to serve Him. He gives you the Holy Spirit to empower you to move with integrity. God will never be disappointed in you if you have integrity. Integrity will guide your coaching and help you plan in all your decision-making processes. You will be that leader God wants you to be and your players will see you as a person who is unquestionable because of your integrity. Without it, no real success will be possible.
You’ll actually win more games by using integrity. That’s right. If you’re fully committed to coaching with integrity, you’ll win more games. The impact you’ll have on your players and your own life will be seen by others and by God. The fact of the matter is that if you’re a good listener and can carefully visualize your efforts, you’ll be hearing and seeing for yourself. Go ahead, prove me wrong! You will not be able to, because God’s in control and driving you if you use integrity. You see, God does not want losers on His team. He takes the losers, like you and me, and makes them into winners. You can be a winner and a person of integrity as you steer your team to some great wins and victories.
Integrity is modeling Christ with your personality, characteristics, speech, and actions. Your integrity will influence your players in a big way for Christ and form in them a deep trust toward you and one another. As Proverbs 11:3a says, “The integrity of the upright guides them.”
Coaches who do not have integrity are not trusted by their players or by anyone else in their programs. They are not seen as honest, but as unreliable and undependable for help and for the development of their players’ futures in both their soccer and spiritual lives. Your position with your players is to bring something to and into their lives that will benefit them, not you. If you’ve got integrity, your players will want to be around you, follow you, and give 100 percent to their team and you. They’ll sacrifice for what you expect of them, knowing that you’re God’s man or woman. If you’re a teacher of integrity, you’ll have a successful team.
The real benefit of being a coach of integrity is that your players will trust you completely, and trust is what holds teams together in one common bond and impacts the team members beyond the matches and practice sessions. When you earn the trust of your players and staff, you’ll earn their confidence. You’ll also occupy a special place in God’s eyes, and He’ll reward you immeasurably, both on this earth and when you spend eternity with Him. Without integrity, you will fail, not only as a coach, but as the person God wants you to be. You’ll fail your players and cheat them of the experience they could have had with you because you forgot to use integrity.
Coaches with integrity consistently choose the right way. It’s always easy to do what’s right when you know ahead of time what you stand for. Being filled with integrity, results in a self-disciplined person who is truthful in all his coaching and life situations. Are you ready to stand for what’s right and be that coach of integrity God wants you to be? Are you ready to please God? First Chronicles 29:17a says, “‘I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity.’” Though you cannot go back and make a brand-new beginning, you can begin again now and create a brand-new end.
Many coaches need to do just that, but they have made the effort so many times that they just don’t have the commitment. These coaches still seem to rely on themselves; they simply can’t step out in faith and give their lives to Christ, fully believing He has the power to change them. They seem to want to trust themselves more than their Creator.
God asks you to simply surrender all your heart. He’ll provide you with the right course for your coaching, and He’ll teach you what integrity is from the Bible and will allow you to use it for His purpose in your life and the lives of your players. Give in to Him and give up what you want. It’s so much easier to coach when He becomes the administrator of your plan. Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
You might want to pray this prayer right now and then use it as a daily tool to inspire and encourage yourself to grow in integrity so you can coach with integrity:
If Christ has your heart 100 percent and you’re committed to serving Him daily through your coaching plans, decisions, and actions during your career, and if you really mean it, you’ll be the coach of integrity He’s looking for. God wants you to serve Him, and He will bless you through the love that you have for soccer. But unless we grasp tightly to integrity and use it in our coaching, we’re going to grieve the Lord and be cut off from the many blessings He wants us to have and give to others.
God is looking for good coaches, just like the Marines are looking for a few good men. He’s always on the lookout. He’s not looking for the smartest, the best-looking, or the most articulate people. He’s looking for coaches who can get the job done. Hey, that’s just like the Marines expect. God has a job for you to get done before He takes you home. All you have to do is be faithful.
Integrity is what we do and what we think. It causes us to go one way or the other in our coaching and living for the Lord. Proverbs 10:9 says, “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.” You can’t have integrity without being a person who walks securely before the Lord and who has the faith and trust in God to help him achieve it. God is our unseen partner, who is always there to show us the path to succeed for Him.
You Must Be Committed or Give It Up!
Commitment means more than the physical hard work and emotional energy it takes to do the work on and off the field. A significant level of mature spiritual commitment is also required. If you’re going to serve the Lord through your passion for the game, you need to put in extra time to commit to your spiritual concerns for yourself and your team. Guess what? It’s a hard battle. You can’t go it alone. You’ll find that inner strength and peace will come only through the power of the Holy Spirit. John 16:13 says, “The Spirit of truth [the Holy Spirit] will guide you into all truth.” The power to use the faith God gives you and your efforts will be the enabling factors, allowing you to serve when you get frustrated with your administrator, complaining parents, a poor budget, spoiled players, bus breakdowns, and the like.
If you’re struggling to find a better way to do what you face daily, you need to start taking some risks. You need to make the tough choices of being more committed to the Lord about using your faith, remaining committed to Christ, and using the power of the Holy Spirit to believe God will work His purpose through the daily grind to complete His work through you. Remember, you were selected to do soccer for the Lord. As John 15:16 says: “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go [coach] and bear fruit [players]—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.”
Throughout this chapter of John, one of the main points is that we are to remain in Christ. We are told to remain in Christ eleven times. This is what He wants. remain is a verb meaning “to stay even if others leave; to continue; to go on being; to continue to exist; to endure; to persist; to last.” You don’t give in and don’t give up. We’re to be lasting in our commitment to Christ. You train your players to think and practice this way to win matches, and God wants you to do the same for Him. If you remain steadfast, you’ll see His commitment begin to work through you. He said He would never leave us or forsake us. He would like you to never leave Him or forsake Him. In 1 Peter 5:7 we read that we are to cast all our cares on Christ because He truly cares for us. If you do this humbly, under the control of God’s power, He will lift you up to a new way of doing commitment.
There are characteristics that make up the commitment coaches need. They are very important if you are to be able to serve and move your passion forward. As you read some of the following, evaluate where you perceive yourself to be or where others would perceive you to be at this point in your coaching:
You need to love. You need to be honest and speak the truth in a caring manner. Love, our great gift for others, is what Christ most wants us to be committed to. Exemplifying Christ’s very nature is what He requires of us. John 13:34 says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” God the Father loves you, so Jesus loves you, as well. His love remains in you as you show this love to your players. In John 15:12, Jesus gives this command: ‘Love each other as I have loved you.’ The greatest love you can have for a player is to sacrifice for the Lord as you serve him.
Players need to be mentored. Most players don’t have a lot of people in their lives that tell and show them that they love them, and who care enough about them to tell them about their development in the game and talk to them about their spiritual lives. Your job is to help improve their match play and to help grow their spiritual walks. Coaches need not fear teaching players truth. Just do it in a loving and honest way. Ephesians 4:15 says, “Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” Giving honest answers is a sign of your friendship with your players, and it helps build their trust in you.
The game of soccer is for the tough and sturdy coach and player. By the very nature of the game, we need not be afraid of conflicts that arise. Face them head on. Don’t gloss them over and create a false sense of peace. Players can sense inter-team problems quickly, so such problems need to be solved as soon as possible. Open discourse is a must. There must be no secrets that let Satan get in on the act. Keep him out and off your team; he has no place near it or on it.
As you teach, your team is to be connected by the very nature of the game; they can be connecting in the body of Christ with your leadership at the same time you teach the game. A real coach with a real team depends on his honesty and frankness, and through his coaching he creates a commitment to be about what he stands for and what he’s about on and off the field. If you can influence your players to be honest, you’ve guaranteed they will be further committed to the team.
You need to be humble. Have you ever experienced a coach who is stubborn, single-minded, the picture of self-importance, a know-it-all guy, rude, or a “It’s my way or the highway” kind of person? I had a high school coach who had no clue about working with players to improve them on the field or positively touch some aspect of their hearts. He had no interpersonal relationship skills. He did such a bad job that I think he probably indirectly drove me to make a better effort than he did. He had no idea how to coach or treat players. It was his way or the highway, and he was so stubborn that he was not appreciated. Not many players wanted to commit to him, but we were stuck with him. We played because we loved sports—not because we liked or loved him. My love for sports superseded my dislike of him, and it was the same for many players on our team. He would not make it in today’s school systems. He would be found out pretty soon and would lose his position. I don’t think he could spell the word Jesus. Sometimes, when there is nobody for the hiring, somebody has to fill in. They’re out there still, aren’t they? They are not humble, but are full of pride and have no clue.
You don’t need pride. Pride blocks you from moving ahead with the development of your players’ soccer and spiritual growth. Pride blocks movement toward what God wants through His purpose for you. With pride on your plate, you will struggle to integrate your passion for the game into the lives of your players. Prideful coaches may think they’re getting the job done, but their self absorbed blindness is killing their players and what God wants them to do through Him. If you have pride, it opposes God and hurts Him. Proverbs18:12 says, “Before his downfall a man’s [coach’s] heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.” If we get our acts together, we’ll be honoring God before our players. Proverbs 3:34 says,” He [God] mocks proud mockers, but gives grace to the humble.” If you had a choice, wouldn’t you prefer to receive the grace of God than to find yourself in deep trouble because you need to get your way all or part of the time? How about making some better choices, my friend?
Think about God’s grace and mercy for a moment. We get it by accepting His personalized gift for us through Christ’s death. He gives us a personal Savior who will help us get through every moment of every day throughout our lives. God freely gives us gracious salvation. He also gives us mercy when we screw up, and He always loves us through His continued kindness, His grace to us. His divine grace is never-ending for us.
Here are a few ideas I suggest you use when your pride starts to appear and your humility is not functioning as God desires. Try them. They can work for you if you use them:
Learn to be more patient. Be willing to wait for your players to respond. Let them try to sort out and solve problems in training sessions so they develop skills that carry over to matches. Don’t expect instant perfection—Rome wasn’t built in a ninety-minute match. Have some fun, then wait and see whether they can respond to your coaching. Don’t try to manipulate them with pressure; it doesn’t work effectively. All you have to do is figure out a new way to teach them to play better. After all, you’re the coach, and you need to be able to challenge them with different approaches. If you’re patient with your players, chances are they’ll get it and will be able to put a bigger effort into what you want from them. They’ll even appreciate you giving them some time to get where you wanted them to go. So try waiting for a while—it’s a kinder approach and more loving. Be like David in the Old Testament, who prayed in Psalm 25:4–5, “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” Remember that you’re coaching for God and that you have a responsibility to teach and guide your players correctly.
Be ready to receive correction and follow it. You’re not the only guy on the block. For years, my wife has been my greatest advisor and friend—whether or not I like or want it. If only I had listened to her earlier in my coaching career! They say behind every man is a good wife. In my case, as I say from time to time, behind my dead brain cells is an unbelievable wife. In your case, it could be an older person who could mentor you. It could be your players; listen to what they think about you. Find a friend who will hold you accountable for getting it together. Remember that you’re not always right. Life’s a learning experience, and the answers are out there if you don’t know them all. Find them to do your job better.
Point the spotlight away from yourself. Give honor and the credit for your accomplishments to other people who were part of it and who deserve some of the applause.
Most likely it will be your players, who have to physically and mentally put up with what you give them and who kill themselves for you.
Be careful what you say in public. Keep your public words to a minimum and keep what you’d sometimes like to say to players inside you. Don’t sin with your words, but rather show love through them. Matthew 12:36 says, “Men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken.” We need to start shutting our mouths so that we do not speak thoughtless words, and strive to be like David, who wrote in Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Make sure your words please rather than destroy.
Humbly think and do things for others, not for your agenda. In essence, humility is the act of thinking less about yourself. You think, do, and say more about your players and other staff than you do about yourself. When you start focusing mentally and verbally on others and their successes, you’re honoring God. Focusing less on the ‘me concept’ and more on the ‘others concept’ means you’re on target for becoming the humble character God wants you to be. Through the practice of being more humble, you will cultivate your players to play better and you will have a better chance of working with them to develop their spiritual growth. Humble men are men to be trusted and believed. If you want your players to believe and trust you, be a humble character.
Respect your players, regardless of who they are and how they play. The key to gaining the respect of your team is to understand where your players are coming from and where you believe you can take them. We all carry baggage that affects our daily living. Players are no different. They carry baggage just like you, sometimes pretty heavy stuff. We’ve all seen many types of baggage: divorced parents, the death of a family member, boyfriend or girlfriend problems, drugs, stealing, cheating, alcohol, bad grades, and a plethora of other issues. Don’t emphasize how far your players have to go to change their baggage, but rather how far they have come with the baggage they carry. Remember that if we had to clean up our baggage before we become Christians, we never could have been saved. You coach players, not baggage. Christ saved you, not your baggage. As you accept your players and help bring their lives and games together, you will be able help get them out of the holes they’re in. If you respect your layers as players and resist disrespecting them because hey carry loads that burden them, they will respect you for working with them, and that will build confidence within them to move their very characters, lives, ad game forward.
Develop a confidentiality policy among your staff, your players, and yourself. If your players can come to you privately, you’ll be the guy they trust. It often takes time for this to happen. You have to prove that your mouth is a locked safe, and nothing is allowed out. Your heart becomes a private vessel that retains the problems, hurts, secrets, and expectations of your players. Until they allow you to share, you are just a sponge soaking up your players’ confidence in you. As you develop confidence and trust that your players need you, it is very possible that through you they will come to accept a higher authority, Jesus Christ, who will be the Master of their lives. You need commitment beyond the match. By committing to your team members and bringing them alongside you, you’ll be serving God with your passion.
You must make a consolidated effort to help them in their game and create an attitude that God’s in charge and that He is the source of your strength. Growing your team and every player is your responsibility and must be your heart’s desire.
This integrity thing is something to get serious about and start making choice that will not only win game but hearts. Lord and Savior, I need to have a heart that is pure and the person you expect me to be….filled with integrity. Just like you Lord. Show me the areas in which I need the integrity you want me to have and use for you as I coach. If you see any lack of integrity in my life, bring it to my attention by others, by my own thinking, or by the prompting of Your Holy Spirit, so I can make corrections in my life to serve you better. Thanks, Lord. I love you and appreciate you for giving me this passion for soccer. Help me serve you better, Lord. Amen.
Best wishes in this Great game of football and do not stop learning about this game and the Game of Life. God bless.
Paul Banta
President/Founder of GSM International
