I think something else to consider is supply and demand. I wouldn't be surprised if the demand is for in-state or local coaches over out-of-state ones due to money and/or location. When I played youth soccer, everyone at the highest level went to WAGS and Raleigh and Disney and Orange and got exposure to other coaches and letters to say "hey, keep in touch, we're interested," but every single person I know ended up staying in state or going out of state and then transferring back in.
You should never choose a college 'just' for soccer or 'just' for anything; it's almost never a good idea. You need to be happy with most of the aspects of the school. So technically, it's better to contact the coaches at the schools you like, let them know your schedule, and go from there rather than hope you win the crapshoot of which coach happens to show up for ten minutes at your game out of the hundreds at a tournament.
At any rate, the point is that you have to do a heck of a lot more to get into a college for a sport than just "show up" somewhere. I'd also imagine the demand for in-state showcases is a lot more than parents demanding that teams go to four different, very expensive, tournaments.
If everyone on a team wants to go out-of-state, yeah, it makes more sense to write to coaches so they know they can come see you at tournaments you and they will be at. But if most of the team wants to stay in state, or on a larger scale, most of the club, it doesn't make sense to spend that much extra effort on something that is costly and not as rewarding. Just depends on demand and need.
