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I witnessed some berating as well at a tourney this past weekend. I overheard a girl on the bench tell her coach that if he ever talked to her like that on the field, she would walk off.

sweet, what does "shouting advice and making adjustments," expecting "more from there [sic] players than other coaches" and being "a coach that gives a dang about every pass, touch, and possession" have to do with being a coach who demeans his/her players?

I have no idea who this coach is, but it's obvious he is highly regarded amongst both parents and players. I think part of the problem here is that what is considered demeaning to some people might not necessarily be considered demeaning to others.

It would be helpful to know what some of the "demeaning" comments were.

Taken at face value, can anyone here agree with these statements regarding their own daughter?
(or anyone's daughter, for that matter)

- It is perfectly acceptable for my daughter's coach to humiliate her.
- It is perfectly acceptable for my daughter's coach to belittle her.
- It is perfectly acceptable for my daughter's coach to degrade her.

I should hope not...

I think part of the problem here is that what is considered demeaning to some people might not necessarily be considered demeaning to others.

BINGO!!I

Always right, just so I'm clear on this...are you suggesting that humiliating, belittling and degrading children are all proper and acceptable methods for "getting the most out of them" ?

Lot's of times we just get a snapshot of what's going on and we base our opinions on a single episode..One of the best coaches my kids had was a yeller..Most did not like him but very few took the time to know him..
Worst comment I heard a coach say was..If we lose this game..it's your fault..As the girl was coming off the field at the top of his lungs..Does it make him a bad coach? no..Just poor judgement on his part..

Belligerent:
Just a simple question, How do you suggest "getting the most out of them"? then, tell me a coach that does it your way and how successfull the team is. Thanks

I think it a big part of it depends on the personality of the players. If a coach EVER needlessly demeaned or humiliated me, I would walk off of the field, period end of story. It doesn't serve any purpose except to make me lose respect for him or her and piss me off, and not in a good way.

I love having a coach who's willing to yell out comments to point out something I missed on the field so I could learn from it and move on. I also didn't mind having a coach with a throbbing temple during halftime who would occasionally curse and tell us we were playing like $h!t and that if we didn't get our butts in gear as a collective whole, we were in trouble during practice that week. It tended to work.

Some people need to be harassed or personally insulted to get by, some people don't mind it, and some people, like me, won't tolerate it. If you have to resort to being nasty to get the job done, then personally, I feel that you've got more problems than just your team. Yes, you sometimes have to put up with jerks in real life, but at some point you have to draw the line between being pushed or someone just being a hardass and someone who's personally attacking you.

Are you serious? A simple question? That is not only an entirely new thread, but a completely separate bulletin board!

I don't have all the answers - if I did, I would sell them for a gazillion dollars, and then I wouldn't have to worry about any of this. But, I can say some things with confidence - one of which is that the three things I mention above (count it as one or three - your choice) are the wrong ways to coach a child.

Do I know any perfect coaches? Sadly, no. But, the closest I have found yet just happens to also be the winningest soccer coach in this state - ever (is that successful enough for you?). So, there.

Again, I have no idea whether this coach's comments were truly demeaning or not, but I'd be willing to bet money that if he is as good as everyone here says he is, and IF he does demean his players, he could be that much better of coach without demeaning his players.

A coach can get fired-up, pi$$ed off, expect perfection, let players know they aren't playing worth a dang, and a whole host of other items, without demeaning them. Yes, it is possible. Is it easy? Heck no. For some, yes...others, not so much so...and yet others have to work reeeeal hard at it. CHT had a good point...plenty of great coaches have not-so-great moments. And, AK is definitely spot on.

Personally, I don't believe this coach could be as successful as he seems to be if demeaning players was standard practice for him. Neither players nor parents would be willing to put up with it for very long. So maybe he just had a bad day.