Our team was up 3-0 15 minutes into the game. It became quite physical from the other team after that. Our girls were taking a lot of cheap shots from the other team, blatant jersey pulls, elbows, etc. At one point my daughter was sandwiched by three of there players (and she still managed to clear the ball) and one of their girls pulled her pony tail. My daughter retaliated...yes, I know that is wrong, she grabbed the other girls jersey in the back which also caught the girls pony tail. She didn't pull, she didn't shove, she just grabbed it. And she let go immediately. I'm not certain the other girl even felt that much because she had it for a split second and did not really cause any movement.
I agree that the retaliator gets caught. But the ref went to a straight red card. Our coach was livid and said first off he needed to call BOTH fouls. Quite a few of us in the stands felt it should have been a yellow.
There is also a personal history with this ref in the club setting where he coached my daughter four years ago. he was not a good coach. It was a small club with just four teams that existed for two years. He was known for having a temper. We had some run-ins with this man not as a ref, but as a coach/club director. He is known for his temper. He was one kicked out of a club because his son got into a fight with another child and this man chased after the other boy until another parent stepped in. In addition, his son and my daughter played in a club for a few years in a town about two hours away. We carpooled with him for practices on week nights. There was one night that my daughter had practice and his son had a game so he drove them. His sons's team lost. This man screamed at his son for 45 minutes in the car, telling his son he needed to be a man, that his son had no b-lls, and on and on and on. All with my daughter in the car. These children were in the 8th grade. My daughter actually never told me how bad it was until a few years later. She said she was afraid I would not let her ride with him again and she was worried she would not get to play with her team again. She said his son was literally bawling and shaking the whole time and it was one of the worst things she had ever seen a parent do.
Needless to say there is not a lot of good will between us and this man. He has referred games in the past few years and when it came to my girls, let's just say if it was a close call, it NEVER went in my girls favor. WE dealt with it, we knew that it was the type person he was.
But I honestly feel this was personal today. The minute it happened other parents that were aware of the history said "that was payback" or "that was personal". Basically, he abused his power as ref. Again, should have been a yellow at most. And that fact that he was watching her get beat up the first 15 minutes was just too much for my daughter. And, there were only two referees...she plays left back. He was in a position to see how dirty the other team was playing, he heard our coach yelling at him to please call the blatant fouls and he did nothing.
The local assignor was there but did not see any of what happened. He went out, talked to the ref at half time, got the refs side the story and decreed "it was the right call, I talked to the ref and he told me what happened." HELLO...shouldn't the assignor have perhaps at least tried to talk to the coach after the game and see what the coaches thoughts were on the whole game. We won the game no problem, even with a man down. Thankfully none of our girls were seriously hurt because the other team just played to take out our girls, not play soccer. At one point they had a girl who literally threw her body in front of one of our girls driving to the goal and their girl got flattened. Of course we got called for the foul because it's kind of hard for a player to stop on a dime when a player runs from the side and jumps in front of you. It was ridiculous.
Oh, and the other referee for the game, it was the male referees daughter. So, two man crew, father and daughter team.
I was told by the AD (who I don't trust to know the rules) that the coaches would submit a report to the high school league. I asked the coach about it and she said he never said a word to her. The coach is fairly new and not up on that type stuff and take the word of the AD. The coach wants to make a report, but she said the AD has not told her to do so. She won't do one unless she is asked.
How exactly does this process work. We are not football or basketball and we are a girls team. Our AD is not going to do a thing to stand behind our girls or our coach. The coach said she felt it was no where near a foul that met the automatic red criteria. She really felt it should have been a warning to both girls, or at least a yellow.
The coach was not aware of the history my daughter had with this ref so she did not find out until after the game that he has anger management issues. Oh yeah, when the coach was yelling at him, he stopped the game, pointed to our coach and then pointed to the ground in front of him. He didn't say anything, he just kept point to her and then to the ground. More or less motioning "come here and stand in front of me." It was a classic move to show that he was going to order her around and he wanted to humiliate her. Then he shook his finger in her face and was basically abusing his authority as a ref. Of course the assignor didn't see any of this happening. And the AD is not going to do a thing, because after all, we are girls soccer.
I would like to see the rule book myself to see if it was in fact a true automatic red card. And if there is an appeal process with SCHSL. They have a league game Monday that my daughter will also miss.
And before anyone jumps on my daughter, she readily admits she should have walked away and not grabbed at the girl. She knows she lost her cool. She is embarrassed by her actions. She knows she did wrong. But I still think this guy made it personal and abused his power as ref to get back at my daughter.
